Starlight
by Katie Ladmoore
Summary: Katie Ladmoore and Renesmee Culleswan begin a talk show featuring your favorite Star Wars and Twilight characters. Will they be laughed at? Admired? Able to get a word in edgewise? Chapters alternate: Star Wars first, then Twilight.
1. Padme Amidala

**This is a talk-show fic co-authored by Katie Ladmoore and Renesmee Culleswan! We are aware that there are a lot of these going around, but none quite like this. Flaming will most certainly NOT be tolerated, but we do like CC!**

**So here is the first renovated chapter! ****We don't own Harry Potter, Twilight, or Star Wars. Or Mickey Mouse.**

The lights of the studio dim as the spotlights on the stage brighten to highlight a tall, dark-haired man walking to the front of the stage. He picks up the microphone, smiles weakly, and says,

"Hello there, everyone! Welcome to the show! I'm Harry Potter, and I'll be your host. I have better things to do, but Katie and Renesmee sort of made me, so…"

A voice from behind him cuts him off.

"Ahem!"

Harry sighs.

"Well, anyways, please welcome Renesmee Culleswan and Katie Ladmoore!"

The crowd cheers as Renesmee and Katie walk onto the stage, smiling and waving cheerfully. They sit down on the plushy couches.

"Thank you!" Renesmee says brightly. "I'm glad to see you all today! We're so excited for our first episode ever!"

"Harry, tell our lovely audience how the show works," Katie instructs.

"Every other episode, Katie and Renesmee will interview a Star Wars character," explains Harry. "The episodes in between will be used to interview Twilight characters. Now, to-"

"Ahem!"

Harry sighs and rolls his eyes.

"What _now_, Katie?"

"That didn't make sense at all," Katie says tersely, pursing her lips.

"What? Of course it did!"

"No. It didn't."

Harry huffs.

"Fine. I'll re-explain it. Gosh, all of her interrupting sounds like Umbridge…"

"Hey! Watch it there, Mister!"

Harry groans.

"Okay. This episode we're interviewing a _Star Wars_ character. The next one, we'll interview a _Twilight_ character. The pattern goes on until we get bored. Got it?"

A random audience member, Bob, pipes up, "No."

"Too bad," Harry dismisses. "Now we're going to bring out our first guest."

"And who would this guest be, Katie?" Renesmee asks, in a very talk show host-like voice.

"I don't know! I thought I told _you_ to invite our guest!" replies Katie.

"No you didn't!"

Katie groans.

"Oh, great, now we don't have a guest for the show!"

The producer, backstage, whispers, "_I_ took care of it, girls!"

Renesmee breathes a sigh of relief.

"Good. Thanks, Ron!"

"You got it!" Ron the producer says. He whispers the name of the guest to Harry.

"Okay…" says Harry. "Please welcome… Senator Padmé Amidala!"

The audience applauds, but Katie, who has been drinking her bottled water, does a spit-take.

"Wait, WHAT?"

Padmé walks onto the stage and sits down in the guest's seat.

"Hi, you two!" she says. "Thanks for having me on your show today!"

"You're welcome," Renesmee replies. "Thanks for coming yourself. Now Katie—Katie? K… Katie? _Katie_, say hi to the nice guest who agreed to come on our show."

"Hi," Katie grumbles gruffly.

"Er, I'll ask the first question. So, Senator Amidala…"

"Please, call me Padmé," Padmé interrupts, smiling.

"_Padmé_," acknowledges Renesmee, "What… is your favorite color?"

Padmé looks confused by Renesmee's basic question.

"Um… light blue, I guess?"

"Ooh, pretty! Katie, ask her a question."

Katie says nothing.

"Katie!" Renesmee shouts, her eyebrows furring angrily for a moment.

Katie's pout slides into a sly smile.

"So how's it going with Anakin?" she inquires.

Padmé blushes slightly.

"Er, well, he's definitely very supported of my politics! General Skywalker is a great friend. A great friend, really!"

"Oh. Yes. Sure. Definitely."

"I've always wondered this," Renesmee picks up. "Who does your hair?"

Padmé beams

"_I_ do, actually! When I was Queen of Naboo, I learned how to do all of the hairstyles you've ever seen me in!"

"Well, you sure do change it quite often," Katie points out. "Why is that, exactly?"

"I start out with one, and then I get bored with it. I don't like being bored. It's not fun. So I change my hair. It's very therapeutic, boredom-busting, and time-consuming!"

"Very interesting! Are you a Republican or a Democrat?" Renesmee asks.

Padmé is confused.

"Huh?"

Katie sighs.

"Renesmee, in her galaxy, _they don't have_ Republicans or Democrats. I think our country should be the same; personally, I think doing it their way eliminates bias and stuff."

"Smart! You'd make a good politician!" Padmé tells Katie.

Katie props her feet up on the ottoman in front of her.

"Nah, I'm more of a Jedi kind of girl."

There is a long silence.

"Oh yeah. I guess it's my turn to ask a question," continues Katie. "So… you and Anakin are, uh, _good friends_. What have you been doing lately?"

"A lot of things!" replies Padmé brightly.

"Such as?" Renesmee prompts.

"Discussing things."

"_What _things?" Katie prompts. She pauses. "Oh, my gosh, I just quoted Anakin!"

"I don't remember Anakin saying anything like that…"

"He's going to say it in the _future_!" Katie's tone turns more serious. "Now stop averting the question, please."

"Oh. Yeah. Well, we've been discussing… the war, politics, what it's like being a Jedi, what it's like being a Senator, things like that."

"Sounds nice," comments Renesmee.

"It is. We can go for hours talking about those things."

Renesmee has caught Katie's drift and asks, "_Just_ talking?"

"Yes!"

"Oh. Okay then… Katie, do you have another question?"

"No," Katie says hostilely. She checks her watch. "Hey, we're all out of time!"

"Thanks for being on the show today, Padmé!"

"You're welcome! It's been great being here," Padmé says politely.

"Then thanks for watching, folks, and we'll-" Harry begins, but Renesmee cuts him off.

"_Folks_? Who are you, Mickey Mouse?"

Harry scowls.

"No. Would you like me to rephrase that?"

"Well, duh."

Harry smiles falsely.

"Thanks for watching, and we'll see you again on the next episode! Bye!"

As Katie and Renesmee wave goodbye to the studio audience, the screen fades to black.

* * *

**Renesmee will write the next chapter, since Twilight is her favorite fandom. And how did you like the chapter in present tense? Katie wants to know how you all liked it, and if she needs to write only in past tense. Please review!**


	2. Mike Newton

**Hi, next chapter! Let's get on with the show!**

**We don't own Harry Potter, Twilight, or Star Wars. **

* * *

The studio is filled with the chattering of the audience as they wait for the show to begin. Finally, Harry Potter keeps them waiting no more, and he walks up to the front of the stage, where he picks up the microphone. As soon as he begins to speak, the audience quiets down eagerly.

"Welcome to our very first second episode!" Harry proclaims. The audience giggles a little at his quip. "Today we are interviewing a _Twilight_ character! Now can I get a big round of applause for Katie Ladmoore and Renesmee Culleswan?"

Although the crowd had groaned a little at Harry's mention of _Twilight_, they begin to clap as Katie and Renesmee walk onto the stage.

"Thanks, Harry! It's great to see you!" says Renesmee brightly.

Katie scoffs.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's just get on with the show."

Renesmee ignores Katie's brusqueness and continues,

"Our guest today will be—drum roll, please—Mike Newton!"

The audience claps half-heartedly as Mike walks onto the stage with his back hunched over and waves a little.

"Welcome, Mike!" Harry gushes as Mike sits down. "You are the first _Twilight_ person on the show! Aren't you excited? Now, tell me…"

He is interrupted by Katie.

"Harry! _We_ have a show!"

Renesmee rolls her eyes briefly and begins the questioning.

"Now Mike, why is it that most of the _Twilight _fans think you deserve to be run over by a bus?"

Katie nods in agreement.

"Yes, there are quite a few Mike-haters out there, you know!"

Mike frowns.

"Um…"

Harry frowns as well. He can't control himself any longer at Mike's hesitance, and he yells,

"COME ON, GIVE US AN ANSWER! THE FANS ARE WAITING!"

"I wasn't aware…" Mike mumbles quietly.

"Wasn't aware of what, Mike?" Renesmee hisses, narrowing her eyes and leaning closer to him dangerously.

"That I was hated…"

Harry groans.

"That's life, pal! I went through that a lot of times! That Slytherin's heir thing… _Then_ there was that time…"

Katie cuts him off again angrily.

"No one cares about your problems, Harry! If you told us all of them, we'd be listening for _days!_"

Harry, offended, snaps,

"Shut it, Katie!"

Renesmee nervously breaks up the argument.

"Anyways! Mike, _you_ are the star here! Say something to your fans! I'm sure there are _some_ of them out there!"

Mike thinks about it.

"Um… Hi, mom?" he stammers finally.

"Wow, Mike… That's all you got?" Katie asks critically.

"Lay off, Katie, he's just received a huge emotional blow!" Renesmee chastises cheerfully.

"No, I can take it!" insists Mike. However, Mike doesn't look like he can take it. His eyes begin to turn red, and his lower lip quivers slightly. Harry notices him.

"Hey, everyone look at Mike! He's _crying_!"

"No, I'm not!"

Mike sprints out of the room tearfully. Ron the producer hands him a box of tissues backstage. Katie and Renesmee look after him, but they don't bother to call him back.

"Well, that's it for today's show!" Katie announces.

"Tune in next time!" adds Renesmee.

"Sorry the show was cut short today! Meanwhile, please enjoy the commercials for odd skin care products that are coming up next!"

"Well, till the next chapter!" Harry says. "_Starlight_ signing off!"

And then the scene switches from the set of _Starlight_ to a long, boring infomercial concerning, as Katie had said, odd skin care products.

* * *

**Yeah, that chapter was short. We suppose you'll have to deal with it. There's not much you can ask Mike, anyway.**

**As for the renovation of this chapter, is everyone liking the present tense? **


	3. ObiWan Kenobi

**Thanks to Graysky (/Hollyleaf) for reviewing! [hands cookie] We appreciate your input! So here is the next chapter. :)**

**Graysky/Hollyleaf: The next SW chapter will be on Luke, just for you. Is there any "version" of him you'd like him to be in when we interview him?**

**I/we own nothing. No Maximum Ride, no Star Wars, no Twilight. Nothing. :(**

* * *

The show is running late. It was supposed to have started five minutes before. Finally, the lights dim, and the audience sighs in relief. But instead of Harry Potter walking onto the stage to start the show, a friendly-looking young girl comes up to the microphone instead.

"Hey everybody!" she greets excitedly. "I'm Nudge Ride! Now, I'm not the normal _Starlight_ host, but Harry's sick. I think Katie coughed on him yesterday or something. So when Katie and Renesmee asked me to sub in for him, I just had to say yes! Please give a round of applause to… Katie Ladmoore and Renesmee Culleswan!"

The audience claps as the awesome hosts walk out and sit down in their fluffy chairs.

"Thanks, Nudge, for that kind introduction!" Katie says. It's the first time she's ever been nice to the host on _Starlight_.

"You're welcome!" Nudge replies, beaming.

"After our first episode," Renesmee begins, "we finally got more organized, so we actually know who's going to be on our show today! Nudge, will you bring our guest out?"

"Certainly! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome… Obi-Wan Kenobi!"

There is more applause as a tall man in his mid-to-late thirties joins the group of girls on the soundstage. It is Obi-Wan Kenobi, in between _Attack of the Clones_ and _Revenge of the Sith_, but he isn't animated like he is in _Star Wars: The Clone Wars_.

"Hey there, Ben!" welcomes Katie happily.

Obi-Wan blinks in confusion.

"What?"

"I don't get it either," assures Renesmee.

"Well, I do!" Katie says matter-of-factly.

"Of course you do! I don't remember half the stuff from those movies you're so obsessed with!"

Katie and Renesmee start arguing. Obi-Wan sits there for a little while, awkwardly watching their argument tennis-ball back and forth. Finally, he decides to break it up.

"Um… Girls?"

Katie and Renesmee whirl their heads around, their eyes flashing angrily.

"WHAT?"

"I thought you were going to interview me…" squeaks Obi-Wan.

Katie begins to calm down, and she sighs.

"Oh, yeah. I guess I'll start, then. So… Obi-Wan, how does it feel to have mentored the awesomest Jedi in the history of the galaxy?"

"You mean Anakin?" Obi-Wan confirms, his eyes narrowing a little.

Katie rolls her eyes.

"I said 'Awesomest Jedi in the history of the galaxy!' Well, _duh_!"

Obi-Wan's eyes quiver, hurt, and he sniffles.

"I thought _I _was the awesomest Jedi in the history of the galaxy!"

"Not even close, dude. Not even close," Katie retorts.

In order to keep the piece for a just a little while longer, Renesmee cuts in.

"ANWAY! I'll ask our guest a question now. So, Katie tells me that you have a lot of relationships going on with some girls. Would you please explain that to us?"

Renesmee is always eager to ask the guests about their relationship statuses. Katie nods in agreement, smiling from ear to ear.

"Yes! To name a few—or maybe all—of them, Mistress Unduli, Mistress Tachi, Ventress, Padmé, even Ahsoka!"

Obi-Wan gasps in a very _le gasp!_-sort of way.

"I'd _never_ do such an un-Jedi-like thing! How dare you people accuse me?"

Katie rolls her eyes again.

"Well, we're not _accusing _you; we're just stating the little calumnies that have been formed about you and your… um, personal life. So are they true or not, Mister? Spit it out!"

"Of course not!" Obi-Wan cries incredulously.

"Thank you!" Renesmee says, exasperated a little. "We were just clearing some things up. Next question, okay… hmmm… How's your life been?"

Obi-Wan shrugs.

"Pretty good, I guess, but there's some downers. I mean, Master Qui-Gon died, then I got stuck with Anakin, who's _super_ arrogant and all… ugh!"

Katie's eye twitches.

"You did _not_ just diss Anakin!"

"Pardon me?"

"You did _not_ just diss Anakin!"

"I'm sorry, 'diss'?" Obi-Wan asks.

"Diss means to insult, to _dis_respect," explains Renesmee kindly.

"Um, well, Katie… I didn't really mean to," Obi-Wan stammers.

"Oh, _sure_ you didn't mean to!" Katie roars furiously, rising out of her seat. "I bet you didn't _mean_ to let him almost _die_ on Mustafar, either!"

"What?"

"Um, Katie? That hasn't happen yet," remarks Renesmee.

Katie blushes and sits down, smoothing her jeans as she does so.

"Oh. Whoops. Hehe. So, um, to ask a question, what do you want to do with Ventress?" she asks quietly, embarrassed by her outrage.

"To capture her, of course!" replies Obi-Wan. He seems proud of this goal.

"You don't want to kill her, even though she's tried to kill you about a jillion times?"

Katie laughs sarcastically.

"Ah, Renesmee, you naïve little youngling, killing is not the Jedi way."

Renesmee looks hurt, so Obi-Wan tells her,

"She's right, you know."

Renesmee scoffs.

""Well _pardon me_ for not memorizing every single little detail about the Jedi!"

"It's all right by my standards that you don't," protests Katie, "but seriously, you should."

"But I'm not freaking _obsessed_ like you are!"

Katie (metaphorically) goes for the throat.

"At least _I'm_ not a Twitard!"

"Yeah, I'm a Twi_hard_! And I'm pretty darn proud of it, too!"

"Well, good for you!" Katie jeers. She faces the audience and flings her arms out with great gusto. "But I'm just glad I know that _I'm_ not the one in love with that pretty-boy Mary Sue!"

Katie is referring to Edward Cullen. Renesmee gasps, affronted.

"Oh, no, you didn't!" Renesmee shouts, twirling her finger.

"Oh, yes, I did!" replies Katie, smirking and doing the triple-snap.

Obi-Wan is in the middle of it all.

"Um…" is all he can say.

"Edward's a pretty-boy Mary Sue! And Taylor Lautner isn't hot, either!" Katie continues, enjoying her troll-fest.

Renesmee screams so loudly that some glass breaks backstage. Then she calms down.

"At least _I'm_ not the one in love with _Anakin_! Who'd want to be in love with _Anakin?_"

"You did _not _just diss Anakin!" Katie yells, repeating her act from before.

"Oh, great. Here she goes again," Obi-Wan groans.

"What have I done?" cries Renesmee, throwing her head back and screaming it at the ceiling.

"You did _not_ just diss… Hey! That's what Anakin will say in the _future_!"

"What will he say in the future?" Obi-Wan asks curiously.

"'What have I done?'" Katie repeats.

"Why?"

"No offense, Obi-Wan, but I think Katie and I are the ones asking the questions," Renesmee says.

"Yeah, that's right!" Katie agrees.

Obi-Wan groans.

"Oh, never mind. Ask me a question, then," he relents.

"Do you anything to say to your buddies back in your galaxy?" asks Katie.

Obi-Wan nods.

"Sure, I guess. Hey, everyone. I hope the Republic isn't losing the war without me there. Um, Anakin, stop being so emo. I love you, Siri—I've said too much."

"Anakin _is_ pretty emo, isn't he?" Katie sighs. "Ah, SO hot on him."

"Yeah, right," scoffs Renesmee.

Katie is too obsessed with Anakin to realize that Renesmee just dissed him.

"Did they realize what I said?" asked Obi-Wan.

Nudge shook his head.

"Nope. I did, but don't worry. I won't say a thing. Our audience won't either, will you guys?"

Everyone in the audience agrees, except for Bob, who has no idea what had just happened.

"Wait, we're recording?" Obi-Wan confirms.

"Yeah."

"Bantha fodder! Um, when this airs on television, can we cut out the little Siri part and all…?"

Nudge shrugs.

"I'll check, but probably not."

"Muffins!" Obi-Wan exclaims.

At this, Katie's head snaps up, and her eyes widen.

"Whoa, muffins? Where? I love muffins!" she gushes.

She runs off the stage wildly to get muffins at the buffet table.

"Okay… well, thanks for watching! See you again next time on… _Starlight_!" Nudge says.

She waves goodbye, and the spotlights turn off until next time.

* * *

**Okay, thanks for reading! Please do not flame just because Katie called Edward a pretty-boy Mary-Sue; that's her opinion. Renesmee's on your side.**

**See you next time!**


	4. Isabella SwanCullen

**Hello, welcome back! Thanks to Syal Skywalker, Graysky (x2!--thanks!), and** **XxRandom NemesisxX ****for reviewing! [hands out cookies] WARNING: Breaking Dawn/Deathly Hallows Epilogue SPOILERS!  
We don't own anything. Nothing. :(**

* * *

**Harry Potter**: Hey you guys! Did you miss me?

**Katie Ladmoore:** No, not really...

**Renesmee Culleswan:** Of course, Harry! Nudge kinda scared me...

**Katie:** Hey! She's a good friend of mine. I think... Let's just get on with the show.

**Renesmee:** Let's _not_ give a big round of applause for Isabella Swan-Cullen!

**Harry:** Oooo, is she single?

**Katie:** Harry! You're married! And so is she...

**Renesmee:** _(Grunts)_

**Katie:** So, Isabella, how are you today?

**Isabella Cullen:** Just Bella, and I'm fine, thanks.

**Renesmee:** So, Bella, tell us, How do you like being a vampire?

**Bella:** Well, It's great. I love that Edward and I can finally exist as a whole, and not to so out of balance anymore. Now, all it comes down to is Renesmee**.**

**Renesmee:** Who, you named after me!

**Bella:** Ummm, well, no, actually.

**Katie:** Nessie, ummm, Bella actually thought the name was an original... And, back to your answer, how CHEESY is that?!

**Harry:** Bella! Will you go out with me? Are you free Friday? _(starts drooling)_

**Bella:** Ummm, well, Harry, right? Well, I am actually going to be doing something that night...

**Harry:** What?

**Bella:** Ummm, well...

**Katie:** Harry, YOU ARE MARRIED! YOU HAVE THREE KIDS--all of whom I've met before; they're so sweet!-- AND IF GINNY EVER CAUGHT YOU CHEATING ON HER, YOU WOULD_ GET IT_!

**Renesmee:** Yeah, Harry, Bella couldn't "Go out" with you...

**Katie:** Yes, so just CALM DOWN Harry!

**Renesmee: **_(Wishing to embarrass Bella)_ What was it you are doing that you needed to turn Harry down for?

**Bella:** Well, Edward and I will be busy...

**Renesmee:** With what?

**Katie:** Yes, what _are_ you doing with Edward?

**Harry:** My other middle name is Edward!!!

**Bella:** Well, just, ummm...taking care of Renesmee...

**Katie:** But I thought that little Nessie sleeps?

**Bella**: Well, yes, but... She's been having sleep problems lately! She can't get to sleep!

**Renesmee:** _(scoffs)_ Likely... Well, what do you and Edward do while she IS sleeping?

**Bella:** Ummm, next question?

**Harry:** Are you free Saturday? Sunday?

**Katie**: Harry! Shut up!!!

**Renesmee**: Nope, sorry Bella. _We_ ask the questions, you answer!

**Bella**: Well, we...ummm...

**Harry**: Aww, man!!! You don't do... um, um... _(wimpers)_

**Bella**: ....

**Katie**: I knew it! You and Edward get...

**Renesmee**: Hey, World!!! Bella is inappropriate every night!

**Bella**: _(Begins to get out of seat)_

**Harry**: Don't go! _(Grabs arm)_ I can't live without you!

**Bella**: I'm sorry, Harry. _(Yanks arm away)_

**Katie**: Wait! We have one more question!!!

**Renesmee**:_ (Doubled over laughing)_

**Harry**:_ (sobs into new t-shirt)_

**Katie:** Does anyone watch?!?! (Cracks up) And by the way Harry, you've lived without her for your whole life. DEAL WITH IT!

**Harry:** _(Frowning)_ I guess thats it for today folks. _(Voice breaks)_

**Renesmee:** Bye ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

**Katie:** See ya later ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

* * *

**Katie: I apologize for the little... yeah. Renesmee likes to embarrass Bella with stuff like THAT.**

**Renesmee: It's not my fault she stole my husband.**

**Katie: HE HAS NEVER MET YOU, NEVER FALLEN IN LOVE WITH YOU, NEVER LOVED YOU, NEVER NOTHING!**

**Renesmee: _sniffles_ No need to be so hurtful... Well, please review! We may feature you as part of the live studio audience in the interview of your choice!**

**Katie: And I have a poll on my profile. Vote! Even if you are under 18!**


	5. Luke Skywalker

**Hey, there! Today we interview Luke Skywalker, our apparent crowd favorite. [Passes out cookies to the reviewers.] Thanks, all of you!  
Katie and Renesmee do not own Harry Potter, Twilight, Star Wars, Comcast, ATT, or Direct TV.**

* * *

**Harry Potter**: Hey, people who have bought television sets, brought them home, hooked them up, subscribed to Comcast, and ---

**Katie Ladmoore**: Harry, you're here to be our host, not advertise for Comcast.

**Harry**: I'm not advertising for Comcast! People subscribe to Comcast.

**Katie**: Yeah, but not everybody does. There's Direct TV and ATT, and—

**Harry**: And how much did those two companies pay you to mention them on the show?

**Katie**: How much did Comcast pay you?

**Harry**: _--quietly—_Five hundred bucks, not converted to Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts.

**Katie**: HA! SIX hundred bucks EACH!

**Renesmee Culleswan**: Instead of arguing on how much television companies paid you to endorse them, how about you introduce our guest for today?

**Katie and Harry**: _--huff—_Fine.

**Harry**: All right, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome… Luke Skywalker!

_Audience cheers._

**Katie**: And today, we're proud to introduce a new segment on _Starlight_ we like to call… The Review Bag!

**Renesmee**: "The Review Bag?" Who came up with that? And since when do we have segments on a TALK show?

**Katie**: I did! To answer your question, since I felt like it!

**Renesmee**: Whatever.

_Luke is very late coming onto the stage_.

**Katie**: PR Guy, where's Luke?

**Ron the PR Guy**: My name is RON! I'm Harry's best friend, remember?

**Renesmee**: Yes, I remember. But where's our guest?

**Ron**: He was backstage two minutes ago when I first checked…

_Luke finally staggers onto the stage._

**Katie**: Welcome, Luke! We're so glad to have you on our show! We have had many requests for you to come and talk with us!

**Luke Skywalker**: _nervous, but not because he's on live TV._ Oh. Um, thanks, I guess…?

**Renesmee**: Is something wrong?

**Katie**: Oh! Part of one of our requests from Graysky asked that we tell you that Graysky loves you.

**Audience**: Aww… How sweet!

**Katie**: And Syal the Jedi changed her PenName to "Syal Skywalker," which is in honor of you! She has also mentioned in one of her reviews that you are the awesomest Jedi in all the movies.

**Luke**: _happier_. Really? Wow! That's so cool! I have really awesome fans!

**Renesmee**: Yes, you do. You are very lucky.

**Katie**: Now we will be getting to the normal stuff. Here are the rules: Only we ask questions. You don't. You must answer EVERY SINGLE QUESTION we ask you. You do not get up before we dismiss you, no matter how awkward the questions gets. We don't normally get _that_ awkward but some of us… _--looks at Renesmee pointedly, who blushes.—_

**Luke**: Okay, I think I got it!

**Katie**: Good. Well, I know that many people in your galaxy whose home planet is Tatooine hate it. What about you?

**Luke**: Oh, don't get me started on that freaking dust ball!

**Katie**: I can sympathize. You see, one of my OC characters was born there, and she hates it! She would rather not go there ever—

**Renesmee**: Katie! We are here to ask Luke questions, not advertise our stories! And _Forever_ is doing rather well! Chapter six is up!

**Katie**: Way to be hypocritical. Now ask Luke a question yourself!

**Renesmee**: Okay, fine, I will! Geez, pushy… Luke, where are you in the time frame of the movies?

**Luke**: What do you mean?

**Katie**: To make this easier for you, what has happened recently?

**Luke**: Um, I blew up the Death Star a while ago. Um, I almost froze to death on the ice planet of Hoth. I received training from Master Yoda. I went to rescue my friends Han, Leia, and C3PO in Cloud City, but then I met up with… with Darth Vader, and he dueled me. He, um, cut off my hand and lost my lightsaber… and then he, um, told me he was my father… I got a new hand, and now I'm here, talking with you.

**Katie**: Right after _The Empire Strikes Back_. That was a pretty good one… I'm not sure if I like it or _The Phantom Menace_ better. I used to hate them both, but I think I appreciate them more now…

**Renesmee**: No one cares, Katie. So, Luke, Darth Vader cut off your hand. Did it hurt?

**Luke**: Yeah. I screamed.

**Renesmee**: Was it BLOODY?

**Luke**: Um, no.

**Katie**: Hey! That's not fair! You asked two questions in a row! And for the record, lightsaber wounds do not bleed because the laser-ness cauterizes it, which prevents it from bleeding! It saves you a lot of blood, and people with lightsaber wounds never bleed to death. Well, unless they have hemophilia, or they're _not_ injured by a lightsaber…

**Luke**: She's right. She's smart. I can tell.

**Renesmee**: A little too smart for her own good…

**Katie**: I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear that and ask our gracious guest two more questions since Renesmee so rudely asked two in a row. Well, Luke, how do you feel about Darth Vader, the awesometastic Sith, being your father?

**Luke**: HE'S _NOT_ MY FATHER! NOOOO!

**Renesmee**: That's going over well…

**Katie**: He's a really good guy once you get to know him, though Luke.

**Luke**: He cut off my hand and killed Ben!

**Katie**: And he feels very bad about it. But can't you just think about how much he's lost?

**Luke**: Not really. I don't know what you're talking about.

**Katie**: Well… _--about to go on another _Star Wars_ lecture—_Darth Vader used to be the hottest Jedi ever, Anakin Skywalker. He was in a secret relationship with Senator Padmé Amidala, who ended up being your mother. The Jedi had a little rule about that. Attachments, such as romance, were forbidden. It was believed to cloud a Jedi's judgment. Anyways, your father had a dream about your mother dying in childbirth. Emperor Palpatine –at that time, Chancellor Palpatine—was the Sith Lord the Jedi were looking for. He got close to your father, and, the night before you were born, got Anakin to turn to the Dark Side by making him believe that the Sith could save Padmé from death. That didn't turn out so well for anybody. Darth Vader massacred all the Jedi; dueled Obi-Wan Kenobi, his former mentor and best friend; and even strangled your mother using a Force Choke. Anakin lost the duel with Obi-Wan, and become… _--sniffles—_mutilated… _--begins bawling—_So… Palpy had to go and get armor for him, and then your mother died in childbirth, so poor Ani ended up losing _everything_. He thought you had died along with your mother, who he loved more than anybody, he lost all his friends, was plagued by the guilt of killing the Jedi, and… most of all… he wasn't super-hot anymore! _–sobs even harder—_

**Luke**: Oh, geez. I didn't really think about it that way… Hmmm… maybe he _is_ my father…

**Renesmee**: _--shaking her head at Katie's weeping—_There was no need for that monologue, Katie.

**Katie**: _--looks up—_Yes, there was!

**Luke**: Thanks, Katie. I think I can really appreciate my… dad more. I can sympathize for him, I think.

**Katie**: _--sniffles—_You're a good person…

**Renesmee**: I think we should continue with the show. Luke, Katie told me that you kissed Princess Leia! How was it? Did you like it? Did you kiss her back? Was it wet, 'cause Harry here's first kiss was wet.

**Harry**: Do NOT bring that up!

**Renesmee**: Too late.

**Katie**: -_-still bawling—_

**Luke**: _--blushes—_Um, well, _she_ kissed _me_. It was pretty good, I guess. Unexpected. I did _not_ kiss her back, and it was not wet. I think the reason she did it was so she would make Han jealous or mad, not because she liked me.

**Renesmee**: Interesting…

**Luke**: It was sorta creepy, actually… I felt like it was a little _wrong_ that she did it somehow. I don't know why.

**Katie**: _--stops bawling… temporarily—_Hehehe….

**Luke**: Um...?

**Renesmee**: Hehehe…

**Luke**: I don't know what's going on here…

**Katie**: You'll find out soon enough… Hehehe…

**Renesmee**: Hehehe…

**Katie**: _--starts bawling again—_

**Renesmee**: VAMPIRES WILL ONE DAY RULE THE WORLD! NEEHAHAHA!

**Luke**: I don't know how to react to that…

**Harry**: Neither does anybody, Luke.

**Renesmee**: _--giggling violently—_

**Katie**: _--sobbing really, really hard—_

**Harry**: Um, well, that's all we've got for today, people! It was great to have you on the show, Luke.

**Luke**: My pleasure… until this last part…

**Harry**: Signing off from _Starlight_!

**Luke**: Bye! _–waves to the crowd, who cheer adoringly—_

**Harry**: Oh! Here! Katie and Renesmee were supposed to give you this fruit basket, but considering their current conditions… well, I am giving it to you on their behalf. _–hands Luke a fruit basket filled with guavas, kumquats, bananas, pineapples, apples, grapes, pears, lemons, limes, passion fruits, star fruits, ugli fruits, dragon fruits, apricots, blackberries, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, pomegranates, cherries, clementines, oranges, tangerines, tangelos, grapefruits, cranberries, figs, kiwis, mangos, watermelons, cantelopes, honeydews, nectarines, papayas, peaches, persimmons, plums.. and cheese._

**Luke**: Wow, that is one big fruit basket…

_End of episode._

_

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_

**Thanks for reading! Please review! Send in suggestions for who you would like to see interviewed next, for either the Twilight stuff or the Star Wars stuff. You'll get cookies if you review, and we will throw in a smaller version of Luke's fruit basket if you send in suggestions. And Katie has a poll! Vote on the poll! It's for people who like Twilight (and those who don't). **


	6. Emmett Cullen

**Hey, everybody! We're back! We are SO SORRY for the long, long wait!**

**Our awesome reviewers: Allebasii, SisterOfAnElvenWannabe, Twilight4everTDI2, XxRandom NemesisxX, and Graysky and Hollyleaf! [hands cookies]  
Thank You for Your Suggestions... Allebasii, SisterOfAnElvenWannabe, Twilight4everTDI2, XxRandom NemesisxX, and Graysky and Hollyleaf! [hands a miniature of Luke's fruit basket]**

**Disclaimer: Katie: Yeah! I own Star Wars! Renesmee: Yeah! I own Twilight! Both: NOT!**

* * *

**Harry Potter:** HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO! People of Earth and Beyond! It is time for the next Starlight!

**Katie Ladmoore**: Get on with it Harry

**Renesmee Culleswan**: Don't be rude... This week, we are interviewing Emmett Cullen from _Twilight_.

**Emmett Cullen**: Hi.

**Katie**: Sooo, Emmett, how is your family?

**Emmett**: Fine, I guess...

**Harry**: Where do you work out?

**Renesmee**: Uhhh... Harry? Emmett doesn't _work out_.

**Katie**: Yeah, idiot.

**Renesmee**: Sooo, How do you feel about Bella joining the family?

**Emmett**: It's great. She is freakin' hawt!

**Katie**: ...

**Harry**: ...

**Renesmee**: I said _Bella._..

**Emmett**:_ (laughs loudly)_ Yes, I know!

**Katie**: I thought she was your sister-in-law.

**Harry**: Wait, wait, wait. You think your s_ister-in-law_ is_ hot_?

**Emmett**: Yep. She's hotter than _me_!

**Harry**: Whoa. No way!

**Katie**: HARRY! SHUT UP! You are ruining the reputation of our show!

**Renesmee**: Uh, well... What happened to Rosalie?

**Emmett**: What about Rosalie?

**Katie**: You _are_ married to her, right?

**Emmett**: What's it to you?

**Harry**: Shoot! You're_ married_?

**Katie**:_ (slaps Harry across the face)_

**Harry**: _(quiets down immediately) _

**Renesmee**: Point is, Rosalie is your wife; you can't ditch her!

**Emmett**: Whatever. Next question, please.

**Katie**: Ummm... What are your thoughts on Bella's child, Renesmee?

**Renesmee**: _(giggles quietly)_

**Emmett**: Nessie is awesome!

**Renesmee**: _(blushes)_

**Katie**: Details, please. Still growing at an alarming rate?

**Emmett**: Well, Carlisle says it _is_ slowing. She will be fully-grown in about three years now.

**Harry**: What? Hold on a second. I don't understand.

**Katie**: You aren't supposed to, Harry. Just shut-up already!

**Harry**: _(backs off quickly)_ I'm sorry!

**Emmett**: _(laughs loudly)_

**Renesmee**: So, Emmett, is Carlisle still working full time as a doctor?

**Emmett**: Carlisle only works night shifts now, in order to supervise Nessie.

**Katie**: Really? Wow. I would have never thought.

**Renesmee**: What did you think of _New Moon_?

**Emmett**: I wasn't in it enough.

**Katie**: Wait, what?

**Emmett**: They should have had _me_ see the future and visit Bella to go rescue Edward.

**Renesmee**: Wouldn't that have messed the movie? I mean, your ability is strength.

**Emmett**: Who says I can't have _two _extra powers?

**Katie**: Ugh! All of you _Twilight_ people have too many extra special _gifts_!

**Harry**: Hey! Everyone is special in their own special ways, Katie!

**Renesmee**: _(stunned into silence)_

**Katie**: ...

**Harry**: That's right! I am _deep_!

**Emmett**: ?

**Renesmee**: Anyways!

**Katie**: Emmett! What do you say we wave goodbye to our fans?

**Emmett**: You mean _my _fans.

**Renesmee**: That's it for this _Starlight_! Keep watch for the next show!

**Harry**: Bye!

**Katie**: Bye!

**Emmett**: Hahahahahahaha BYE! _(Stands and leaves)_

**So that's it for this chapter-episode! Please R&R, and we hope the long wait didn't deter you from finding and reading this story again. Constructive Criticism is always accepted, as is praise, and all flames will be used by Katie to attempt to burn Edward. (P.S. Renesmee loves Jacob, not Edward now.)**


	7. Author's Note

**All right, so clearly, this isn't a real chapter. This is an Author's Note. Renesmee and I would like to announce that this story will be down for "renovations." We won't delete it, but the chapters are going to change. Instead of being in script format, they'll be in... STORY FORM! Huzzah! **

**As for an update on when chapter seven is coming to you... well, it'll be a while. Katie has writer's block (again) and little inspiration. But our guest will be Princess Leia, and we will feature tacos and three other special guests!**

**This note will be deleted once the renovations are complete, so reviewing on it isn't recommended. **

**Best Wishes,**

**Katie Ladmoore and Renesmee Culleswan**


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